Tackling the common worries about toileting when starting school!
At school, some children can become so involved in their play that they ‘forget’ to go to the toilet or leave it too late to get there in time.
As a parent you may worry that your child is going to stay wet all day and be uncomfortable, but the school staff will be used to supporting children in this way. There’s lots you can do to support your child too.
Top tips:
At home
- Practise with your child at home: so they know and feel confident about how to ask to go to the toilet or how to tell an adult if they have had an accident
- Prompt your child regularly during the day at home and help them to recognise signs they may need to go to the toilet: for example – ‘you’re hopping one from one foot to the other’ or ‘you had a big drink of juice a little while ago’ so ‘you might need to go to the toilet now’
- Be as relaxed as possible with your child: help them to communicate their needs and encourage them so that their self-confidence continues to grow
- If your child finds it difficult to know what to do first, you could make a series of picture prompts to help them with the process: for example trousers and pants down, sit on the toilet etc – there are a lot of things for your child to remember including cleaning themselves, re-dressing and washing their hands, so breaking the process down into small steps will help them (this will also help if your child thinks they have to remove every item of clothing before using the toilet)
- Consider if your child has experience of using a toilet outside the home: toilets all look different and may smell different, have gaps under the doors, the toilet roll may be stored somewhere different from home and so on – have a conversation with your child about using each one while you are there
- Check out: BBC Tiny Happy People for talking your child through a trip to the toilet
Once at school
- Ensure your child’s school uniform is quick and easy to pull down: no tricky belts or tight buttons to undo if they are in a hurry
- Place a spare set of clothes and underwear in an easy-to-access bag on your child’s coat peg so they have their own clothes to discreetly change into if needed: talk to them about what is in their bag so they recognise the items as belonging to them if they do need to use them (you could also pack the bag with your child)
- If your child comes home and is desperate to go to the toilet, or has a tummy ache from not going to the toilet during the school day: talk to your child about why they are not using the toilet – it might be they don’t like the sound of the hand driers or the door banged loudly and frightened them
- If you are still concerned: please do speak to the school staff so they can give your child reminders and reassurance during the day
FAQ:
My child cannot go to the toilet on their own – can they still start school? Who will help them?Â
Yes, your child can start school. There may be lots of reasons why your child cannot toilet independently when they start school.
Speak to the school about your child‘s needs as soon as possible, and certainly before they start, so the school can be best prepared to meet your child’s needs. Your child’s Early Years setting will share information with the school, with your permission, on how best to help your child.
If a specialist health visitor, paediatrician or other professional is supporting your child, do check they are involved in discussions with the school or their most recent reports have been shared. The more information the school has, the better prepared they will be and the more confident and secure you and your child will feel.