Helping your child to become independent!
Going to school is a big change for most children with a new environment, new adults, new expectations and new routines to learn.
Developing independence skills in young children takes time, patience and lots of encouragement. By giving your child the chance to practise new things, make mistakes and try again, it will encourage them to be independent; keep praising your child and they will keep trying.
Your daily routine offers lots of opportunities for this!
Top tips:
Getting dressed
- Find a suitable time: practice getting dressed when everyone is calm and there is no rush, as this can add to the stress
- Encourage your child to put on an item of clothing and talk them through the process: for example, lay the skirt on the floor and tell them to sit on their bottom and put their feet through the hole
- Start with ‘easy’ clothing: getting dressed can lead to lots of frustration for your child due to the item of clothing, so try velcro shoes and no buttons or zips
- Try pyjamas: a good item of clothing to practice with when your child is not too tired because they usually have elasticated waists, are stretchy and don’t have ‘fiddly’ bits
- Dress teddies and dolls: all part of helping your child practice
Meal times
- Talk your child through the process: when you are helping them with cutting up their food or putting it on a fork
- Offer your child their own cutlery set: so you both have a set each and they can have a go too
- Start with ‘easy’ food: when you would like your child to start trying to cut food up, do it when they have food such as soft vegetables or fish, as this will reduce the frustration
- Use role play: for example, a picnic with their superheroes or dolls so they can practice using spoons and cups
- Offer your child smaller versions of jugs and cups: they can ‘have a go’ at pouring a drink or pouring the gravy on their dinner (using a small jug is lighter and easier for them to hold)
Self care
- Remind your child to wash their hands after going to the toilet and before meals: talk them through the process, such as first we turn the tap on, then put soap on your hands, then rub them together, then rinse and dry with the towel (using the same routine will remind them when they are ready to do it themselves)
- Gently tell your child when they have a runny nose and they need to get a tissue: telling them this, instead of just doing it for them, helps them recognise the feeling of a dirty nose
- Tell your child when they look hot or cold from the weather: they will start to recognise the feeling and regulate theses feelings – for example, ‘Oh your hands are really cold and you are shivering, lets put a coat on because it is cold outside’
Social skills
- Play games together with your child: this helps them understand that there are rules for different games and they can practise taking turns – you may need to remind them each time that its ‘my turn, your turn, my turn, your turn’
- Have play dates with friends and other children: your child will have a chance to experience different situations and different personalities
- Support your child with learning how to share: when they want something that someone else has, encourage them to wait their turn and distract them with something else – these can be hard skills to learn, but an essential skill for when your child is playing independently at school